If you're going to place an order on a website and you need the items in a hurry, it's probably best not to order an item clearly labelled in 18-point type "Coming in February!" This may mean coming tomorrow or coming 29 days from now. What is most certainly does mean is that the item is not available to ship today.

No amount of you whining, "But I can't wait!!!" is going to make the item become available more quickly. And if you continue to treat your lovely correspondent in this manner, I bet it could take even longer than expected. *evil grin*

Making sure your credit card company has your proper address is your responsibility, not mine. The merchant service I use checks your address against the address on record for your card. This is to prevent thieves from using your card. You want that, don't you? If your card was rejected because of the wrong address, this is something you must change with your credit card company. Alternately, you may use your old address as billing and your new address as shipping.

But certainly, you should not call me and tell me *I* need to change it for you. I cannot. I don't even know the issuing bank of your credit card. And you are in the UK. The banks there are closed, as I'm sure you must realise. How exactly am I supposed to call your bank and change your address?

Was there an item on my site that said, "Lackey"? I don't think I have that item avaialble...

And when you try to log in to your account on my site, please note that the login and password are case sensitive. The only reason it would not take your correct login and password is that you accidentally hit the shift key. Please check this before you start raving that the computer isn't listening to you and that my website is horrible. How often do you order online? How often do you type on a keyboard? You logged in just fine last night. I can see you...

And futhermore, after I have spent 24 hours trying to solve your computer and financial problems for you, do not write me an email upbraiding me for being out of the room when you called. This does not endear me to you. This does not make me want to help you. I'm going to help you to the best of my ability. But you are not my friend right now. And you're making an awfully big deal over "problems with the website" which are in fact problems with your credit card.

And then if you want me to call you back, you MUST tell me your phone number. I'm not a mind reader. Of course you babbled so long on the voice mail I'm sure you forgot it yourself.

And I thought the Brits were supposed to have manners... *sigh*