So we got your order, processed it, and sent it out the next day via Fedex.

Four days later, you got an email from Fedex that said your package had been delivered. But when you got home, there was no package.

So you emailed me. I looked up the package shipping record and saw that it was delivered. I called Fedex and told them your story. They told me that you needed to call your local Fedex office and tell them what happened and see if the package was lost in transit.

They told you it had been delayed and accidentally marked "delivered" and to expect it on Thursday.

It's now Friday and you are writing to me, flinging insults.

You can be pissed at the kids on your block who probably stole the package.

You can be angry with Fedex.

What you CANNOT do is write me an email and accuse me of taking your money three weeks ago and doing nothing. You have a delivery confirmation from Fedex. While this apparently does not mean you have actually received the package, it sure as HELL means that I sent it. And you can see the date I sent it -- the day after you ordered it.

And then you're going to demand that I send you a new shipment? When I have a delivery confirmation that says your package was received? For free? How exactly do I know you haven't received your order and are just trying to get free patterns out of me?

You shouldn't have played the "you have my money and did nothing" card, sweetie. If you are nice to me, I will bend time and space to help you. But you MAY NOT accuse me of stealing your money when your damned package is probably being the soccer ball for your neighbour kids.