But nooooo! It can't be... MY fault! CAN'T! CAN'T!

::throws self on the ground and kicks heels::

And I know you've been a tailor for 40 years and you think you can just throw out the instructions because there isn't anything you don't know. But this is different.

(...and I suspect you're only wishing you're still a size 54...)

"(...and I suspect you're only wishing you're still a size 54...)"

::sniff:: Pickin' on the preggo like that....

I R mean and nasty.

You are. My feelings are hurt. They can only be repaired with a shipment of seven yards of cottoned wool.

Only crazy pregnant ladies from the South would order seven yards of cottoned wool in the summer!

(But I have it in stock in a lovely red...)

Jeez, right now I can't even hold the purring kitten puddle for very long because I get super warm. I'd use it on the sweats-at-the-drop-of-a-hat hubby who naturally got me this way. Because it's all his fault, too. None of mine. I'm faultless here, too.

Oh course! Taken against your will you were. Nevermind the black lace teddy...

...wait, lingerie? More like "There I was, breathing again, like I do."

But yeah, totally his fault. Nothing to do with having the IUD removed a couple of months previous. But for now, it's all right you see, because I have Mexican 5-layer dip from Whole Foods, and some tortilla chips.

ANd I insist on the continuing to breathe, thing, too.

Agreed, agreed, AGREED!

Thank you. You may live.

;)

They cannot RATIONALLY blame you. But anyone who cuts expensive fabric before reading the well written directions they paid good money for probably isn't rational. ;-)

Well, he can try... But all I can say is, "If you didn't read the instructions and follow them carefully, I'm sorry but I cannot be responsible for your errors."

It's an arrogance thing. "I've been doing this since you were a twinkle in your daddy's eye!" Yeah. And guess what else. Now you have no fabric and no garment. Next time listen to the "little girlie". She obviously is smarter than you.

*rolls eyes*

Mock-ups are only for idiots, after all, and I shall demonstrate I am not an idiot.
Oh.
Crap.

Tee hee hee hee hee!

Leo sticks his little pink tongue out at you.

That only goes to show that Leo is smarter than this person.

And that's REALLY saying something! LOL

Read thrice.

Measure twice.

Cut once.

Unless you're me of course in which case there's an extra read in between "measure" and "cut" because I'm anal about wasting fabric.

I always advise people to read the instructions through once before they even sit down with their fabric. Make sure you understand them all and call or email me if you don't.

Then read the instructions again, thoroughly, immediately before walking into your sewing area. Then read them as you cut and sew, step-by-step as you go along.

Even professionals can accidentally skip steps, forget what they read, and make mistakes. But a good carpenter doesn't blame his tools.

Cut once.

Unless you're me...

Or me, who is always too eager to start cutting and will often salvage my mistakes with outrageous piecing and will bluff that "I meant to do it that way." >:^P

When I make mistakes like that, I always say, "Piecing is period!"

Matter of fact, I have this lovely 1770s polonaise ball gown that I got a great compliment on because "You pieced it just like they would have done!" Yeah... but I bet "they" would have measured the length before they cut the back skirts. :/

Or me, who always buys an exra yard, because I know I'll goof up somewhere.

Even when I DO make a muslin. ;)

I've bought so many "one yard extra" pieces that I had to start a fabric company! LOL

Just kidding. But I do have a shocking amount of one-yard pieces. At least Bob can have all the cloth hose he wants. Sometimes not both legs the same though... ;)

*lol* Yep. Someday I'm going to go through all my extra one-yard bits and pieces and just make a bunch of doublets to donate to our Gold Key. Doublets are easy. I loves me some doublets, and they use... just about 1 yd of fabric. ;)

See! The New Model Army* would be so proud of you...


* Parliamentarian forces during the English Civil War. Because of a dearth of funds for common soldier's clothing, their doublets could only take one yard of broadcloth.

Brilliant! Nice to know that I would have been useful during the English Civil War. ;)

See? If you ever get trapped in a time-travel novel, you'll know exactly what to do!

Sleeves! Well, if hte fabric is wide enough. Lots and lots of sleeves (I swear, sleeves are like my 16thcentury equivalent of shoes. oy).

Actually, I've been thinking about making myself little clutch purses. 1yd is just about right for that. ;)

Don't forget about cut hose. 1 yard is enough if sufficiently wide to put left and right in opposite directions next to each other.

Oh I know THAT feeling.
If I ever have time I'm going to start making children's clothes out of all of those extra yards and sell them on etsy :)
Might as well earn some of that money back ^__^

Well... crap. That was my whole plan for the weekend. Now I'll have to think of something else.

Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah!

I recommend including a bonus section on period piecing techniques, in a little red envelope marked "OPEN IN CASE OF CUTTING EMERGENCY".

Now THAT's precious. I'm totally plagiarising your idea, Ben!

That is brilliant.
I'd definitely do that if I had Kass's business. Of course, most of my "business ideas" are derived from pure whimsy,contrariness and amusement rather than customer service and satisfaction, but still.

Ok, I'm *really* guilty of doing this. The not reading and cutting anyway thing that is - I 'wing it' way too much.. I'd NEVER think to blame the pattern maker though for my own screw ups.

I'm well aware that someday it's going to bite me in the ass, but when it does, I'll have no problem with the fact that it was my fault.

The "Not my fault!" people just baffle me. (and make me want to chase them down with a 2x4)

That's because you, my dear, are Right Thinking People.

I think there is a great big deal wrong with the reading-comprehension skillz of most people in the world.

That said: I really can't see why people would avoid RH instructions, there's historical notes that come with them! (that and well instructions are VITAL!!!)

He admitted that he was rushing to make something to wear this weekend. The thing he did wrong was call us and blame me for how he screwed up.

He didn't even read the size chart on the back cover. I mean, he really didn't read the pattern at all.